Dear Ibu,
Last August was supposed to be your 59th birthday (if you're still alive). Meanwhile, I'll turn 25 in the next 4 months. Whew, time flies so fast especially when you're not around. Even if you're no longer around, you're still on my mind on some days (or should I say, all the time?). But today, it just hits harder, probably because I'm starting a new job next Monday. YEAH I got a new job ibu 😽 Oh wait... Oh no, I think there's A LOT of things that you've missed out.. Yelah 13 years without you kot! Can you imagine how hard is it to grow without you for 13 freaking years? Okay, sorry, not your fault that you had to leave first. I bet you don't even want to leave at the first place. Okay ibu, it's time to recap on those 13 years!
For starter, yes, I finished school! 🎉 I got 7As for PMR and only 6As for SPM, which both didn't really hit my target but the past is past 🌟 Oh yeah, I broke up with A in 2013 and the last time we spoke to each other was through Instagram DM on my birthday in 2020 (before I was removed from the following/followers lists). :'( But that's okay, God replaced A with another A, B, F, and I, my new soulmates 💖 Okay moving on, after school, I got myself.... a law degree! I think you might be surprised as to why did I take law. Don't worry Ibu, it was fate all along (I think lah hahah).
Not long after I finished law school, I kicked off my journey to be a legal practitioner. I started my pupillage/chambering in October 2020. To be honest Ibu, that was one of the hardest journeys I've ever went through. The thoughts of you giving me support throughout my chambering journey were always there. I wanted you to be there, to accompany me. Alas, I had no choice but to persevere. There were times when your dad, abahtok fell ill and I had to go back and forth from KL to JB. I was worried because what if.. what if he's also leaving me? I'm not ready for that although I know well that he's been sick for the past few years. But at the end of my chambering, your beloved mom, my beloved maktok passed away all of sudden. It happened during MCO which reminds me of the time when you passed away (it was hard to visit people in the hospitals, remember?). Somehow, I managed to cross state and bid farewell for the last time. I was at the lowest point of my life in 2021. Because of her death, I rejected the offer to be retained in my firm. But somehow, I retracted back lol. Kinda embarrassing but it was a good decision to stay anyway, because I got myself new friends <3
Fast forward, I finally had my graduation ceremony in 2022 (2 years later than the actual year!!). Quite late but better than none, right? But of course, I was a bit sad, because you weren't there to witness it. I tried my best to not be sad you know? You were also not there for my long call ceremony. I cried like a baby on my long call day knowing that you were no longer around. Especially when the Judge consoled me at her closing speech :'')) Both events were super meaningful to me, I'm just going to assume that you're watching me from the sky or something :') Oh yeah, I got myself a brand new car. Although it's not a fancy brand. but it's good enough to teleport me everywhere :]]
Now? I just finished my 1 year PQE as a lawyer on 24th September 2022. To be honest ibu, I'm scared to start anew. I've grown to be comfortable at my old firm after 1 year and 11 months with them. But I need to go out and venture on new things, so I decided to quit. (ok lol to be honest it was done on impulse...) But, do I regret? Probably, but I think it's a sign that I still need to leave and start a new job. So yeah, I don't know what to expect for my new job. Probably I would be busier than ever! Haha anything to keep the food on the table, kan?
Love life? Sorry ibu to disappoint you but your daughter is just SO bad at it. She's had countless FAILED talking stages to the point that she's giving up lol. I got hurt so bad and MANY times *sighs*, when will I learn??? LOL okay lah partially my fault because I have fearful avoidant/anxious attachment and I'm bad at reciprocating so.. yeah, I'm no longer hoping for anything anymore... That's it, that's the only update on my love life hahaha :'))
Whew, that's a long letter. See what happens when you left me way too soon? I have a lot more other things to say but I'm just going to focus on my small achievements in my life and some small life updates. Alright Ibu, just know that you'll always be on my mind and I love you. I'll write again when I have free time <3
- your one & only daughter -
