13th Ramadhan 1430H.

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It has been 6 years.

6 years since she left me.

Who is she? My beloved one and only mother. 

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I still remember on that day, 13th Ramadhan 1430H, when she passed away (I was 11 yrs old). I wasn't there unfortunately. (which makes me really sad every time I try to remember about her). I knew she was actually sick at that time (Breast cancer, stage 4) but I was busy preparing for my exam. ((yeap I'm a bad daughter for neglecting her)). She passed away on that day while praying for Asar prayer, during tashahhud right after reciting the shahadah... yes it was beautiful and she passed away peacefully.  I remembered seeing her face after that. She smiled even though she's already gone. 

I remembered she cried a lot after she found out about her disease. We cried together, that's for sure. :'( BUT, I still remember all the good times we spent together.  But if I could turn back time, I would treasure all the time with her. well, I regret for not doing that. 

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Now, I really miss her scent. I really want to tell her that her only daughter is now a grown up teenage. I really want to talk to her because I have no one to talk to about my problems. And I miss her voice, the food that she always cook for me, and everything about her. 

The only thing I could do for her is, pray for her for the hereafter. And in the next life, I hope I can be her daughter again.

An eleven year old girl had a panic attack
'Cause the mother she loved left and never looked back
No longer the heroine she counted on
The mother told her she loved her and then she was gone

The girl tried to look happy in front of her friends
But knew that she'd never feel normal again
She fought back the tears as they filled her eyes
And wanted her mother back just to tell her goodbye

This isn't the end.